Welcome to the madness, indeed. Moving here is like willfully boarding the Titanic.
I usually start the conversation like, "Hi, I'm fresh from California, here to turn Illinois blue 😉." Depending on the side-eye, I may add, "Please don't key my car".
In my experience, Illinoisans seem to get it... the gov't does not have your best interest in mind. Red or blue, everyone expects politicians to be corrupt, wildly profitable, and to one day end up in prison. When a state is actively pushing people out (and doesn't have the tech oligarchs to bail it out), all one has to look forward to is more madness. There will never again be a corrupt or shortsighted bill that won't pass. Those sane enough to leave have already done so.
Well, my seatbelt is buckled and I'm ready to go down with the ship alongside you. I just hope to get some nice drives in first.
You have the requisite mindset, sir, but the proof of citizenship will be in how you handle the winter.
We had a cute little couple move in next door from LA last September (they were suckered in by the low price of real estate, not realizing that they’d be paying 3%-5% a year in property tax). She grew up in Wisconsin, but he’d never lived more than a mile from the beach in his life. He works as an agronomist at the pot farm in Delavan (population: 1600), and I think by February or so there was a fair bit of “in home testing”.
There’s a reason weed is legal here.
Let’s chat in May when you will have (almost) made it through the first “season” (assuming none of your immediate family has bludgeoned you to death in your sleep for bringing them here). You’ll know a lot more by then.
Winter is really, really long. Plan on a week away (Mexico is nice) at least once, maybe twice a winter. Whatever you do, wait until at least mid-January before your first trip. Absolutely nothing is worse than coming home from some tropical paradise to face 4-1/2 more months of gray slush. If you only do one, try to hang on until mid-February (at the earliest) to mid-March. Nobody makes it until April, unless they’re too broke to get out or they drink themselves blind to cope.
I’m sure you’ve got the requisite European SUV, or they wouldn’t have let you buy a house in Lake Barrington, but make sure you’ve got Blizzaks (or equivalent) on it. Mrs. Ryan is gonna spend 6 months driving in the snow. Keep a shovel, a couple blankets, and a bag of rock-salt in the back.
Folks south of I80 buy Carhartt winter gear, those north make do with North Face or some such. You’ll need them for every member if the family. If you’re going to do your own driveway, buy the biggest blower you can handle and a pair of heated gloves. Keep it full of E-free gas. You can thank me later.
Regarding our endemic political corruption: it is what it is. You’re in the most heavily taxed part of the most heavily taxed state in the union, so YOU’RE NUMBER ONE, BABY!!! Thanks for taking it for the team.
Just embrace it (the taxes and corruption), and whatever you do - we all need to keep doing the same thing (else how will things ever change?). JB (Jelly Belly) is counting on you suburbanites, since nobody downstate votes for him. It’s a good thing that four out of five dead folks in Cook County would vote for Pol Pot if he had a “D” behind his name, or JB might need to stop down here every now and again (when his family isn’t in Florida to escape his shutdowns), or pay more attention to you up there. As it stands, it’s “let me eat cake”.
The good news though, is that DJT loved Rod Blago, and reached down from heaven (or Mara Lago), out across the party divide to pardon him (or commute his sentence or whatever), since they were reality show buds - so we presently have NO current or former Governors in federal custody (which is a first in this millennium).
Happy days are here again!
This is a positive trend, but there’s still time for Jelly Belly. I believe Mike Madigan is fending off some legal issues related to his “pay-to-play” rule of the state house for 112 years, but we’ll see if it actually sticks. It’ll have to be federal charges, since the supreme court in Illinois is stacked with machine toadies, who are in their big chairs because of old Mike. The chief justice is married to the most powerful alderman in Chicago, which is the most powerful job in the state - because the alderman run the machine, so you know he’d get equal justice. Some pigs are just more equal than others.
Speaking of pigs, Jelly Belly thinks he’s the keeper of the trough, but he’s really just an overstuffed suit who bought his ticket to the top floor, and is trying to act like a big cheese. Everybody knows he’d fold like a lawn chair if the machine ever pulled back their support. He’s a muppet
You’ll need to study up on this, or you won’t know who to pay off. When it comes to corruption, there’s a lot of ground to cover here.
Tom Boney can probably help. He’s actually inside the belly of the beast (no, Jelly Belly didn’t eat him - Chicago proper), dealing with alderman and public officials every day - a permit here, a fine there, a couple of tickets on the 50 for the inspector. There needs to be an award for people like Tom, trying to make Hellinois just a little bit better, but he’ll never get one.
No good deed like that can go unpunished in this place.
