Super-Nice Napa Valley Car Event

thats Napa Valley,,nothing surprises me anymore in N. CA....I havent been there in years..we have the equivalent next county over..halfway affordable..

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Like the strawberries and cream breakfast events on the lawn at Pebble Beach, it looks like they've raised the rates just high enough to keep out the riff raff.

I guess if you've gone to all the trouble of having the garage get the GTO out of storage and prepping it for a road event, you don't want to be driving around with just ordinary people, do you?

In all seriousness, Gordon, you could put together a fantastic weekend, for yourself or for a few other couples, of driving on superb roads, staying at great hotels, eating great food, and visiting good vineyards for a fraction of those prices. Better yet, do it mid-week when those roads and restaurants are deserted.

Maybe the folks who do these organized 'luxury' weekends do it to 'see and be seen' by the right people. Or maybe they've just spent a bazillion having the D-Type restored and they want potential buyers to know.

I dunno exactly why they do these events - and it's not likely I ever will.

I do know whenever the wife and I want to escape this planet for a few days, there's no better place than the Monterey Peninsula. We have our own favorite places and accommodations - available for free or very modest rates and we want for nothing.

Here's a very special event we attended last October just south of Monterey. There was no entry fee whatsoever:

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"In all seriousness, Gordon, you could put together a fantastic weekend, for yourself or for a few other couples, of driving on superb roads, staying at great hotels, eating great food, and visiting good vineyards for a fraction of those prices. Better yet, do it mid-week when those roads and restaurants are deserted."

That's kind of what we do for the Tour de Smo' although we don't do a lot of planning for dinners.  It seems to work out fine anyway.  Classic Motorsports charges several thousand per person for a cruise that is pretty similar to what we do.

Actually, I've been looking for a time to break it to the gentlemen of the Smo, and I suppose now is as good a time as any.

This year, things will be a little different, to bring the Tour de Smo event more in line with other events and the expectations of "a better class of drivers".

First of all, your plastic fantastic is no longer welcome. Unless your car has a genuine Pre-1980 serial number from a European sports car company we all recognize and venerate, please leave it back at the double-wide (or whatever hole you call home). Nobody cares that your clown car with it's overpriced lawn-mower engine is "better" by every metric - it sends the wrong signals.

In the event that you decide to trailer your car, please note that open trailers are no longer acceptable. An open trailer also sends the wrong message - that your car is pedestrian to the point that the unwashed can actually glimpse it, and perhaps approach to make conversation. This will no longer do, as our class can no longer mix with the mouth-breathing, cousin-marrying hoi polloi, and our things must be hidden away under lock and key. They have cooties.

To this end, we will no longer be parking in the hotel lot. There is indoor parking 53 miles away, in a bunker under a mountain, accessed only by a monorail. You car will be available to you between the hours of 11:30 AM and 4:00 PM.

Also, this will no longer be a BYOB event. Nobody wants to share your Boones Farm Candy Apple Crush wine or Costco Kirkland Scotch and you are embarrassing yourselves. Anyone caught trying to sneak spiked fizzy water (White Claw, et al) onto the premises will be shot on sight. Anyone found with a domestic beer will be expelled from this event and all future events. Anyone caught drinking a domestic beer from a can will be drawn and quartered, and their head stuck on a pike as a warning to other Cretans. Spirits and vintage wines will be available for purchase at the cash-bar. A sommelier will be on site to keep you from embarrassing yourself, and help with your selections. Please have adequate funds available. If you are unsure - don't ask (you can't afford it).

To the matter of tobacco: as this is the south, we will reluctantly allow it - but only Cuban cigars need be fired. Cigarettes will not be tolerated, unless they are Rothmans, which we will allow (outdoors, after 11:55 PM). Anyone caught "vaping" will be bound, gagged, and stuffed into a 1999 Subaru Forester to be set ablaze in the parking lot.

We will no longer be dining at Bubba's Bodacious BBQ Bin, eating rib tips in the parking lot (after going through the drive-thru) like fugitives or some feral animals. Please bring a tailored tuxedo, appropriate cummerbund, and top hat. Spats are optional. We'll dine on tiny plates of endangered or tortured creatures from around the world. If anyone asks for a burger - expect a knock at your door in the small hours of the night. We aren't playing here.

... which brings us to the matter of accommodations.

We are aware that some of you have grown fond of Spaky's Fireside Huts and Buffet, and we did try to move things upscale a bit with last year's stay at the Hampton (or whatever), but this year we will be staying at the 4-Seasons Asheville. We are aware that this is some distance from Brevard and the roads we come for, but how can anybody sleep on sheets unless they are at least 1200 thread-count Egyptian cotton? Again, if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

There will be no "free hot breakfast" swill, nor will we wander over to Jr.'s Quonset Hut for eggs and grits. Anyone asking for biscuits and gravy will never be heard from again.

As to the matter of driving: we are aware that rock chips happen on unswept public roadways, and are powerless to stop this from occurring. As such, we will keep driving to a minimum. We will leave promptly at noon, proceed through the mountains at a stately pace, stopping every 2.5 miles to regroup. There will be no aggressive driving, no exceeding the posted (20 mph) speed limits, and certainly no loud mufflers. We will drive no more than an hour a day, and will then offer ample time to wash, color correct, clay, wax, polish, and dust. Cars will be on display from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM when they will return to the bunker via covered transport. Please bring your own lawn chair for this part of the event.

Those of you expecting to operate your cars in an unseemly manner, tails wagging, tires screeching, fireballs proceeding from your open exhaust tips need not attend. We are aware that some of you are in the habit of driving your cars in a manner not unlike a car thief, or a 16 year-old hooligan, or as if you are attempting to channel the spirit of Ayrton Senna. We ask you, in the sternest terms possible to stuff it. This is no longer that kind of event, and we will no longer tolerate your brand of wanton yahooisim.

The price for entry to this weekend event will rise a bit from "nothing" to $10,500 per car and driver, with an additional $3000 per passenger. Applications should be submitted no later than January 15 for this fall's event.

We hope to see you there.

I suggest that proof of professional color correction and ceramic coating in the last six months be required (applied to the cars, not the drivers) before acceptance into the event.

I would expect that a factory rep from each attending marque be present to inspect their respective vehicles for authenticity. Non conforming vehicles should not be allowed to participate.

I am disappointed that you have not established a Dress Code or Code of Conduct for the event, however a committee could be formed to draw up same. All clothing must be bespoke, or from a list of acceptable brands. No purely synthetic fabrics.

Have you secured a venue and musicians for the Grand Ball?

Robert's Rules of Order should prevail at all meetings and the Marquis of Queensbury rules should apply in case of a dispute between drivers.

Have you arranged for the Highway Patrol to provide escort service for the driving events and for the retrieval and of vehicles from the vault? A necessity.

Nice start, but more needs to be done to protect the elite from the mundane and pedestrian atmosphere that can permeate events of this type.

Tally Ho! Pip Pip!

Drive on.

Pip Pip? Is that me?

All I can add is that if you are not sporting the latest orange spray tan, you'll be added to the 1999 Subaru bonfire.

Pinkies OUT!

Apparently, I'll be the only one allowed at this event, what with the preponderance of drivers, towbars and open trailers(EWWWW!). Step off, commoners.

Stan, I want to express my appreciation for you taking the initiative to inform our potential attendees of the changes that we have made to our event so that it better reflects the esteem in which we hold ourselves.  I am working with the NC DOT to engage a street sweeper to precede our investments - I mean cars - on all cruises to preclude paint damage.

The dress code and fashion comportment committee has met and will require that all participants be adorned in period correct attire appropriate to the era of their automobile. Gentlemen of similar vintage to their automobiles are encouraged to attend, but women from the actual historic period are actively discouraged from participating.

As you are aware the automobiles shall be compared to original color swatches during the application approval process. You should also be aware that driver participation approval process will also include committee approved color comparison charts in order to more accurately replicate a true period event (the actual color chart will not be published as one knows it when one sees it). Also facial hair styles not requiring copious amounts of mustache wax are banned (Magnus Walker is the ONLY special consideration the committee will entertain). Make sure your photos are accurate, there are no exceptions made for poor lighting. The female participants will be given a slightly wider range of acceptable hues, however, no hair is allowed on the female participants at all with the exception of the scalp itself. While lighter shades are generally encouraged for the coiffures of the female co-drivers, no shade approaching white or light gray will be approved and may lead to disqualification from the event (see paragraph one).

These requirements are designed to provide our guests with the elite level conditions they demand and to make sure that their sense of the historic era is not challenged. We want prospective participants to understand that we will go to extraordinary lengths to make sure they are allowed to enjoy the world as it was and as it should be during our exclusive event.

I suggest that attendees provide notarized genealogical evidence or proof that they had ancestors on the Mayflower or belong to either the Daughters of the American Revolution, AA or AAA.

We have been doing a similar rally throughout the Napa and Sonoma Valleys for the past 3 years; which has been quite a logistical nightmare with Covid.

I don't know how many cars the R+T Rally admit.  We have been keeping our numbers low to provide everyone a chance to get to know each other.

Costs do creep up.  The lodging in Napa Valley isn't cheap, and neither are meals.  Then there's shuttle buses taking the group to various vineyard experiences, etc..

It's funny how there were no rally event in the Napa Valley for a long time, and now there are a number of them.

@Gordon Nichols posted:

I'm a friend of Kevin Buckler, CEO of "The Racer's Group" and also CEO of Adobe Road Winery.  I just got an email telling me that Adobe Road is partnering up with Road and Track Magazine for what looks like a very cool, mostly all-inclusive event in Napa Valley:

https://experiences.roadandtra...-zjXKlQ-aTrSw4RuIrBM

Then, I applied, just to see what it might cost.   WOW!   $7,500 for car, driver and passenger.

Still......   A really nice sea cruise would be in the same price ballpark, so.......

IF the weather's good (i.e., no rain and >60 degrees), I think I'll take my speedy out    and see if I can infiltrate "The Racer's Group."  After all, they'll be staying the first night just  4 miles up the road and their "conga line" will pass right by my house. It should be fun!

Gordon I believe you may have confused this event with the Bohemian Grove annual event. https://www.washingtonpost.com...5/AGPV1sVH_blog.html